A House Part Two

.................... Well... That first blog I tell you... It got A LOT off my chest. I started crying while I writing and thinking about all the horrible things that has went down in this house. Let continue on...

I live in a house, where I seen men come and go. As a child, "she" would date. Which you know is completely understandable but one thing I learn not to do, if I ever have kids, is to NOT bring different men around. I never thought of them as "daddy" or whatever. I met some cool ones, some weird ones, a rapist, bad breath Arnold, a few Marines here and there and the normal every day ones. At the age of 15 going on 16, "she" brought home a Marine.. that she met at the hospital. No, he didn't work there... he was a PATIENT. Wow, when he came around that is when shit got real. I live in a house where "she" put another man before me. "She" and I would always go out, if I needed money she would give it to me, she would always acknowledge me in this house! Ha! When he came around though... uh huh! Who is Ashley?? Ashley needs what?? Should I ask Ashley to come?? You think Ashley is hungry?? Lunch money?? School clothes?? 16th Birthday?? Hell no! From that day everything I asked for, became NO. I got into a car accident the first day of school and I crashed her truck. "She" claims that is why she don't give me anything any more. How many TEENAGERS have crashed their parents vehicles? Like really though! I am prepared for the day my child crash my vehicle! In when I was in the hospital "she" looked at me and said "you know you in trouble right?". What-The-Fuck. Do you not care if I am okay or not? My cousin was there with her and she told her not to say stuff like that right then. That day, I knew "she" could careless about me. "She" only cared about herself and what she had material wise. Later, I found out her boyfriend was trying to come to the hospital to see if I was okay, but she wouldn't let him. I had rather for him to be there, because he is very soft spoken and actually care, than her. I remember when my little cousin got into a car accident, she wouldn't let me go with her to see if he was okay. It's like she is trying to be Ms. Big Time Hero or something or just trying to be seen (O.o look on my face). Moving on. So yeah, when he came, she thought she was the shit! Those two would go out every weekend and leave me at home, go out to dinner but wouldn't never bring me nothing back to eat, go shopping buying shoes and clothes, taking mini trips to South Carolina and VA, just doing everything together! Oh, but I guess Ashley didn't want ride, wasn't hungry, didn't need any clothes or shoes, wanted to get out the house for the weekend? He had to talk to her about spending time with me!! WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT? What man have to say to a woman to spend time with their child? Get the fuck outta here. I live in a house where a man was more important to her than I was. I'm just gonna touch the edges of this part. It deserves another blog. Part two coming soon.

I live in a house, where I have been called every named in the book. I feel that I was more Verbally abused than physically abused. In this house, as a CHILD, I been called a bitch, fat ass, big bitch, anything you can think of! I am the type of person that if you say something to me I would NEVER forget it. If I were to bring up any of this stuff, "she" would "act" like she don't remember but one thing you have to remember is... a child never forgets anything. In this house, as a child, "she" told me she wish she never had me and that she hated me. In this same ROOM! I cant remember what I did but she was going off! I always felt that I got in the way. Actually, I know I always got in the way. "She" always said slick shit like "If I didn't have you" or "If you wasn't here". Now she says "One day when you come home the doors will be locked" or "You better have some where to go because the day I move will be the day I will disconnect the lights and water and you will be in the dark". (-_-) What kind of shit is that?

I'm Broken but Stronger, I Listen so I'm Wiser.

I live in a house that can not be explain in two blogs. This house needs another one. . .